THE HILLS OF ALWINTON

By   Brian Childs

Old Michael’s annual pilgrimage to Alwinton Show (1985)

 The year is 1985. Old Michael Anderson has made his annual pilgrimage to the Alwinton Show. There’s plenty to see: Fell Racing, Cumberland & Westmorland Wrestling, Stick Dressing, the Sheep Show, the Sheepdog Show, Sheep Dog Trials, Hound Trailing, a Craft Tent and more. It’s a lovely warm sunny day, and just next to the site is the beautiful River Coquet. 

 We have walked along a road winding up the hill which overlooks the Show, from where we hope to see the Fell Runners return, and from where we have a good view of the Sheepdog Trials. There’s a big round of applause below us - the most recent sheepdog trial competitor has just done a good round … not perfect, but he will be in with a shout when all the results are all in.

 At the sound of a whistle, the next sheepdog streams off to the right in a wide arc before slowing, coming left, crouching down and approaching his batch of sheep with caution … a good ‘lift’. But no - something isn’t quite right here. The sheep have started tentatively veering off too much to the left. The dog comes round in an attempt to straighten them up, but the stupid animals break into a trot … which soon becomes a ragged gallop. 

 The dog races in a vain attempt to bring some order to the proceedings but the sheep are now heading towards peril. Oh, dear! The sheep are in the river - every last one of them! The dog isn’t daft, though - he crouches at the river bank and points an accusing snout at his wayward charges. The shepherd is heard to issue a few unorthodox instructions to his dog “??*ƒ*Ώ*b*??”.

There are sounds of joviality from the field below. Michael has a wry half-smile on his face. “Hmmphh!” he says, turns his back, and starts to walk slowly back down the road. 

 THE HILLS OF ALWINTON   (aka. The Sheep are in the River)        (Brian Childs)